Friday, August 30, 2013

Erin Palette is ok...(NSFW)

The below may not be especially family safe. Might I suggest that if this offends you that you fold it up all sharp corners and slingshot it up your rectum.

Coming out sucks, in any way/shape/form I've ever observed it. It is chock full of stark terror, mind-numbing stupid, gallons of self-doubt covered in a thick spread of fiscal and emotional uncertainty. The intensity of the suckage may vary by as much as 15% or so, but the best part of it is realizing that it is OVER, and that irretrievably everyone knows and you never have to go through THAT again. (Well, unless you discover exciting new things to come out over...then it's lather, rinse, repeat with an additional layer of "ah, goddamit, not AGAIN!").

One of the especially sucky parts is that at whatever age you went *into* the closet and began consciously hiding your true identity - you get to go back and reset your emotional maturity to that age and start over, with every godawful shred of social awkwardness that you had the first time around but more fun because you are older and less adaptable (and can't call the "young'n'stupid" card NEARLY as easily).

More often than not, coming out LGBT is sufficiently shattering that it involves a year of going batshit crazy - splitting your time between shouting it from the rooftops and boinking anything halfway willing in a desperate effort to make up for lost time. With luck, Erin will manage to miss out on this portion of the used to be that you could cure whatever you brought home, but not for the last couple of decades.

Think of it as a pressure cooker blowing. You won't be terribly far off the mark.

Erin has shared that she is set up with "girl brain, boy body." I've been around this block before - my longest term ex went down that path, including the bit that Erin expresses she does not care to explore. My successor as the chair of a largish Pride parade did not start out life as a brilliantly intelligent woman, nor did one of the most effective political activists that Seattle has ever seen - they were, however, always brilliant I suspect.

I wish her well in the madness of coming out. It's a rough road, but in my experience very rewarding. Not everything will be sunshine and roses at the far end, but there is an entire level of self-inflicted and society-inflicted crap that is built into every single closet that magically vanishes away - leaving one to deal with all the OTHER crap one has been busy ignoring in favor of pretending to be someone that you are not (a very labor intensive hobby). 

My point is that until and unless Erin announces a burning desire to get naked with you, the genitalia attached are a non-issue. Similarly, unless some kind of mutual attraction flares, who or what she likes to get naked with and what accessories are required are ALSO none of anyones damned business - and at that point, it is the business only of those involved. Unless it's in Enumclaw...and we try not to think about Enumclaw.

So. If you can't be nice to the freshly out, let them the hell alone. If your heart is two sizes too small, and your brain steeped in a brine of bigotry...y'all are invited to just fuck the hell right off.


Erin Palette said...

Oh... wow. GC, I didn't think you even read my blog! You are the sassy gay friend I've always wanted. :D

Thank you so much for your support.


Wraith said...

Why is there a problem? Erin is sweet, caring, gutsy and just flat-out cool. A lot of judgmental, self-righteous douchebags would do well to take a few lessons from her.

If she's not what you expected, well, life's just full of surprises. So her brain's in the wrong body? Hey, at least she has one--I traded mine for a bottle of Jim Beam years ago.

I'm a relatively new Christian, and I don't claim to know the will of our Lord(and I'm very suspicious of those who do claim such). But I do believe that every situation we find ourselves in, and every person we encounter, has a lesson He's trying to teach us. There are many things we can learn--by example and indirectly--from Erin, among them tolerance, courtesy, courage and understanding.

God bless you, Ms. Palette. I don't care what your outside looks like...because what's inside is awesome.

Comrade Misfit said...

If your heart is two sizes too small, and your brain steeped in a brine of bigotry...y'all are invited to just fuck the hell right off.

I so want to get that on a t-shirt. Or a billboard.

Old NFO said...

Well said GC, WELL SAID! It's about WHO we are not WHAT we are...

Jennifer said...

Bravo, GC!