Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Politicians National Anthem

Before its time, and certainly amazingly prophectic, Charles Durning performs "Dance a Little Sidestep" complete with the allegorical under the bus hurtling for Miss Mona...

If it seems familiar, just imagine a chorus line of Obama impersonators doing the number and it should all fall into place...

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

And finally, Mr. Romney

Mitt.

You dork. You numb-skulled fondler of inappropriate species.

Shut up.

It's a really basic skill. If you need to, hire someone to follow around behind you to shout "IT'S A TRAP!"...

The whole same sex marriage thing? You really should have just kept your mouth shut, because the issue costs you votes either way.

You come out supportive of same sex marriage? You end up pissing off the theocratic bigots amongst your base, and you need their votes no matter how loathsome they may be. You come out opposed to same sex marriage? You confirm the fears of any fence-sitters, you hand Obama a stick to beat you with, AND you peeve the younger voting demographic that's more libertarian in orientation (and thus largely favors same sex marriage) all in one fell swoop.

Shutting the hell up is the indicated alternative. A good second best is pointing out that marriage is simply none of the business of the federal government under our constitution and that on those grounds you oppose DOMA, just as you do many other extra-constitutional measures.

But no. You couldn't shut the hell up. You couldn't wrap your mind around "this is none of a Presidents business and can only hurt me."

You have a fragile candidacy facilitated only by broad distaste for the incumbent. The nicest thing most GOP folks have to say about you is, reluctantly, "well, he's better than Obama." You may, quite p0ssibly, have screwed the pooch.

Monday, May 14, 2012

My applause is muted..

For those that know me, my views on the misfortune currently impersonating a President are fairly well known. I begin with the notion that if a candidate is excreted from the cesspit of Chicago politics, that such a candidate is irretrievably tainted from square one - regardless of race, religion, orientation, gender or creed. He manages to sink yet further in my estimation through his association with bigots and terrorists such as Jeremiah Wright and William Ayers, former Weather Underground terrorist.

I started out unamused amidst the post-election malaise of 2008 and after the smoke and mirrors railroading of ObamaCare through Congress, the failure of Obama Attorney General Eric Holder to prosecute the obvious attempts at voter intimidation by the New Black Panthers, and the failed political set-up job of Fast & Furious orchestrated to promote gun control - at the cost of dead U.S. law enforcement agents and hundreds of Mexicans killed have only grown less amused over time.

The primary accomplishments of the Teleprompter President seem to be unusual skills at script-reading and hurling embarrassing or inconvenient associates under the allegorical bus.

Yet, as a gay man, I am told that I'm supposed to be thrilled at the recent so-called evolution of his views on same sex marriage.

If they were a difference that made a difference, I would be thrilled. If Obama had come out in support of repealing DOMA or in favor of legal efforts to declare its provisions unconstitutional based on the Full Faith & Credit clause of the federal constitution, it is entirely possible my hostility towards his re-election might be somewhat moderated.

Because, if he'd taken such steps, he'd actually be taking concrete steps towards making a difference and moving us forward towards an increasingly post-bigotry future. A day when race, creed, color, and orientation truly do not make a difference before the law, and the response to someone coming out is "so what?"

Instead, Obama strode forth and declared "“At a certain point, I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married."

He will not be pushing for this to be included in the 2012 platform of the Democratic Party. He will not be pushing for a repeal of the regrettable Defense of Marriage Act. He will not be directing his walking misfortune of an Attorney General to question the constitutionality of a statute that flies in the faith of Full Faith & Credit.

Instead, he throws a sop to the LGBT community. Words, not action, confident that so long as he stops short of rounding us up and sending us to camps that few, if any, members of the community will commit heresy and deviate from supporting him. No real action, or even courage, however.

From this throwing of a bone, he baits the GOP into pandering to their own special bigots in the theocratic branch of the party. This, in turn, makes there panderers repugnant to those that support civil rights, equality before the law, and basic morality.

I'm pleased that a President, even this one, made supportive comments about same sex marriage. But that pleasure is tempered by knowledge that the statements are hollow political statements intended to buy off one constituency for cheap while inspiring the opposition to self-immolate.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

A few thoughts on North Carolina & Same Sex Marriage

The recent passage of the decidedly anti-gay and anti-sanity Amendment 1 to the North Carolina State Constitution merits a few words.

While "FUCK YOU" is a good opener, and a fair statement of emotional viewpoint, it really doesn't do the issue or its proponents justice. Similarly, "How Dare You!" doesn't accomplish much. Regrettably, even questioning the species and mating habits of Amendment proponents is unlikely to really drive the point home.

It is, quite simply, time to bring the pain.

Whether at the state or federal level, I offer a modest proposal made up of a small bit of legislative action affirming the effects of Article IV, Section I of the federal constitution (bettter known as the "full faith and credit clause"). Perhaps it should be called the Civil Reciprocity Act, though others may come up with a more artful name.

The proposal is based on the old notion of "good enough for the goose", and goes a little like this - "The state of ______ only recognizes licenses, commissions, and authorizations issued by states and nations that recognize all licenses, commissions, and authorizations issued by this state. All other licenses, commissions, and authorizations shall become null and void upon their bearer entering within the boundaries of the state of ______."

I'm not hugely hopeful, but several days later, I'm still deeply annoyed.

And, in an aside, why are the Democrats still holding their Convention in a state that just modified their constitution to mandate discrimination - particularly one where the last time that state modified their constitution was to ban miscegenation?

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Things We Talk About...

Names have been changed to protect the... Guilty? Innocent? Mischievous?

AnonyMom:


What makes teenage boys socks so crusty and gross? I pick them up and they literally crackle. Ugh.

MummyFriend:

I'd have a guess at it being dry sweat. Do they wear leather shoes or breathable trainers? And also, sweaty feet run in the family. Both me and alfie have it. I can't wear trainers or enclosed shoes/boots because my feet sweat buckets. On the very rare occasion I wear stuff like that I have to wear vest tops to keep me cool xx

GayCynic:

Umm. To put it delicately, what do boys do from 12-18+ that the pre-pubescent don't and the married do *very* discreetly if they know what's good for them?

Mummyfriend:

GayCynic...please spell that one out to me because I think I know what you mean but I'm hoping its not that. lol

AnonyMom:

Ray: OH GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never even thought about that. It makes sense; we can't seem to keep any lotion in the bathroom either.

Mummyfriend:

Ooohhh nooooo!!!!!! It ain't a nice thought to think your own son is doing stuff like that. At the back of your mind you know its gonna happen sooner or later, but actually thinking it is just wrong! lol

GayCynic:

Eh, just go ahead and put a nice jar of lubriderm out into which you've dumped a tube of icyhot or capmax and stirred well (joking)...

Mummyfriend:

Thats a good idea actually! instead of putting hand cream out, put some lubricant. Then your son might realise you know his game and stop...ya never know! lol xx


GayCynic:

Stop? NEVER. Die of embarrassment? Perhaps. I.e., men are pigs. The younger sorts *usually* are less sneaky that the older sorts.

MummyFriend:

Well it aint gonna stop him permanently, obviously. But stop him from leaving the outcome on his socks. He might be a little more considerate/embarrased and use tissue instead. lol
I'm chuckling away over here, I'm sorry. It's not gonna be so funny when my little man does it though and I'll understand if you laugh at me as payback. lol xx

AnonyMom:

Ew. Ew ew ew. I was holding those socks with my BARE HANDS!!!!!!!!!!! There isn't enough hand sanitizer in the world....

GayCynic:

Elbow-Length Gloves when cleaning the areas inhabited by bachelors and young men, that's all I'm sayin...

MaleBuddy:

Haaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Rolling on the floor here. I wanted to suggest that the other day, AnonyMom, but figured a.) You didn't want to hear it and b.) You'd eventually figure it out.

AnonyMom:

MaleBuddy! You knew and didn't tell me! Shame on you! :-)

In the course of my (relatively short but pretty eventful) medical career I have been snotted on, phlegmed on, puked on, pooped on, bled on, peed on, cried on, got amniotic fluid on me and even a dab of melena (blood that's been through the digestive tract. It's the foulest smelling stuff and it sticks around) on my sleeve once (had to throw the shirt out. Smell lingered) but I have never been so grossed out as I was after discovering what was on those socks.
They were in my bare hands. MY BARE HANDS. Ack.