Thursday, November 26, 2009

The Fudge-Packing Tale

Some years ago, a good friend was hotting up to come screaming out of the closet and do his year of madness, and consulting me as a more experienced sort and/or supportive person. His situation was a little different as his Dad had come out when he was in his early teens, followed by a vindictive divorce, and generally shabby treatment of his father and father's new partner - and refusal to tell my friend how/why his father had passed or was buried.

My friend had a little irritation stored up. His proposed Plan A was to stand up at holiday dinner at Grandma's house, come out with a vivid description of what, precisely, he enjoyed...followed by a 45 minute detailed declamation of "fuck you, I'm done".

It was my suspicion that this might be a less than ideal approach, with possible long term consequences, and thus to be averted if at all possible.

Thus, I suggested a trip to the lumber yard. We went down and picked up a bundle of 4'x2"x.25's and some 8' 1x12's and headed back to the house and the table saw, where we made about three dozen old-style wooden crates, before venturing forth to shop again. We bought straw, cling-wrap, and cards.

Mom walked my buddy (carefully not telling her what the ultimate goal was) through the process of making a quality old-fashioned fudge. Buddy goes home, and makes MUCH fudge. Waits for it to cool. Cuts it up in bite-size pieces, and cling-wraps it into about three dozen bundles, and returns to my place, fudge in hand.

On his return we fill the boxes with straw, carefully laying a bundle of fudge in each and a layer of straw atop it, before laying a card into each crate, and stencilling a logo upon each crate top before nailing each crate closed.

That year, my buddies relatives all got a very nice box of fudge. In an old-fashioned classy wood crate. Stencilled "Well-Packed". Containing a little Santa card with the signature line "From your favorite fudge-packer, *GC's Buddy*". Fully 3/4 of them never got it, but buddy felt vindicated and had only one other priority on his settling up list...which is a tale for another day!

Have some well-packed fudge today!! Happy Thanksgiving!!

GC

3 comments:

Christina RN LMT said...

Okay, you owe me a new keyboard.

ROFLMAO

Old NFO said...

Okayyyy... That was a novel approach :-)

On a Wing and a Whim said...

That is delightfully, deviously, hilarious!