Monday, November 9, 2009

Blogorado #3


With more than 6,000 rounds downrange, the Blogorado crowd retired as dusk fell (and the range policed up for re-loadable brass) to the long and mighty jaunt into town, led by the redoubtable Ambulance Driver in his mighty white Ram Charger, thundering down the local highway into town – a device carefully calibrated for speed, weight, and penetration – when lurching forth from the brush burst a mighty white tail buck.

With a weave to the right, and a jog to the left, Ambulance Driver pursued his vicious prey and with a great THUD struck the miscreant deer while seeming striking a mortal. wound upon the sacrificial Ram, hurling the buck into the brush as it leapt into the nearby field only to collapse after brief flight and pass on to the great cornfield in the sky.

Lest my own role be forgotten, I leapt forth accompanying AD in his great mission, standing in awe of his potent and original invective, and loaning him a .45 lest the yet unfound buck attack again from a slit trench hidden amongst the weeds.

About 100 yards in, the corpse appeared in the glowing light of many many LED light sources, and after a few pokes and prods, the deeply non-aggressive status of the buck was determined.

Meanwhile, the rest of the valiant Blogorado crowd rolled up, impressed with the skill and timing of the intrepid hunter and his vehicular sacrifice to bag a 20” spread 8pt buck.

Springing into action, the most experienced accident response team west of the Pecos leapt to assist the frazzled AD – summoning the local minions of Law, Order, and EMT as if with a chalked pentacle centered on the highway. Between LawDog, MattG, OldNFO, Ambulance Driver his own bad Paramedic-Instructor self, JPG, and Farm Dad an unparalleled concatenation of talent and experience had already flooded the scene long before the "official" officials arrived..

In several flashes of red and blue lights, the minions appeared, with a faint smell of diesel with a tinge of bacon and the faint aroma of Krispy Kreme - only to find the buck largely dressed out, with the head mounted upon the hood of the Ram, dressing out well in progress.

Before their very eyes did appear the spectacle of the angry Cajun Truck-Dead dance, involving much pelvic thrusting and many frantic war cries, “Youse! See What Happens when you have opposable thumbs?!”

Bewildered and bedazzled, the minions wandered boggled into the night (even the hot young deputy that many desired as a chew-toy), having seized the horned trophy fetish and the attached head for their own arcane uses.

Relieved, the Blogoradans loaded fresh venison upon the designated vehicle of burden as well as the mighty hunters lesser weapons and accessories, and the Atomic Nerds attached a strap of fiber and steel to the stricken Ram, dragging it hence that it might be either healed or buried with proper honors.

Matters resolved, even the waif gathered amidst the merry band at the sacred meeting place to recount events of the evening amidst laughter and song, beer and beef distributed in limitless quantity, as the hero of the night was succored and his weary muscles kneaded into submission. Proudly he emerged seemingly unscathed with a happy smile upon his face and a slightly dazed look about the eyes…

2 comments:

Old NFO said...

Great post! And the triple take by the Deputy was priceless :-)

Holly said...

Reading your Blogorado posts makes me regret even more not having been able to attend. But your writing makes me feel as if I was there.