Now and again something pops up that "brings it all back" for good or ill, the seed that sometimes swiftly and sometimes slowly, grew to a life-changing decision(s).
I'm reminded of that this morning, an old memory of old stupid brought back, that led to decisions over a period of years as the lesson was re-applied with vigor to give up some opportunities for happiness in exchange for missing out on the near certainty of self-induced idiocy and drama. Now I'm an interested spectator to some games, a cheerleader on the sidelines, and occasionally am tempted to dabble. But I'm largely resigned from that set of games, for down that path lays (for me) only insanity in my experience.
Still, the wound is sufficiently fresh that a swift prod produces a wince of embarrassment at past foolishness, obliviousness, and jerkhood.
Growing old lets us look back and revel in some memories, and in others, inquire how we could have been so stupid or boorish.
This morning wasn't one of the fun ones. But part of what makes such things bearable is the knowledge that we don't have to "do it again", and in some cases, some forms of dumb are best avoided by simply avoiding the precursor events.
I think I shall go pet the cat.