Thursday, June 28, 2007

Fashion Faux Pas

Now, I'm not exactly a fashionista. In other words, for me to think something is bad - it's gotta be really, really, bad. However, public transit seems to bring out the worst in people...

Ladies. Please. Find a gay man with fashion sense (i.e., not me) and CONSULT.

In the meantime, a few hints. If you're a jowly female in your late 5o's carrying a bunch of extra pounds - dried-out bleach blonde is NOT your friend, but then again, neither is the form-fitting black sweater from your bikini years or a pair of jeans that proudly display every quivering ounce of cellulite you've acquired since.

Mid-30's lady. A mid-thigh skirt and sitting spread-eagle sans panties on a public transit vehicle is not a good thing. The phrase repugnant comes to mind. Especially if you've gone to seed about 10 years back.

No. Despite the Tammy Fay years, makeup should NEVER be applied with a trowel...and if your calves are bigger than a 2yo's head...the short skirt look isn't your friend and should be saved for those unhappy occasions when the weather makes all other options more hideous.

Guys. Just because you're aging, doesn't mean your waistline is rising - I don't care how old you are, your waist is BELOW your nipples. If you are carrying extra poundage, it doesn't help to use your shirt and pants as girdles against the girth. Bathing is a good thing - try it.

The ride to work this morning was....grim.

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