I will repeat my comment here that I left over at Cranky's blog:
It saddens me more every time this tragedy *repeats*.
If the young man’s partner is up to it, invite him to the funeral with you – by preference, with the largest and scariest sorts of your acquaintance to keep y’all from getting lonely.
Not just sad, but angry to the point of being perfectly willing to be socially unpleasant, violate a few taboo’s, and dole out vindictive verbal wrath if even slightly crossed.
My condolences at losing your former student, to his partner on losing his lover, and may his family come to a full and complete understanding of their essential vileness – and live long, miserable, guilt-ridden lives contemplating said vileness.Go. Read Cranky's post. And, vindictive sort that I am, I hope someone prints out Cranky's post and the comments and nails them to the chapel door.