A dear friend who, unusually handsome AND intelligent/kind/wise in equal measure, not surprisingly gets a heightened degree of attention on the gay dating sites he occasionally frequents - often to the point where he falls behind on keeping up with replying to all the lusty supplicants.
He recently entered this little exchange (below) which I thought he handled with a degree of verve and skill (and snark) that should remain a classic how-to for dealing passive-aggressive self-hating bitter queens...
lusty supplicant: oh i messaged you several days ago and got no response. in your face, i thought i saw someone who wasn't typical of capitol hill, and that if you weren't attracted by a profile, would at least say so...when i didn't hear back from you, i figured oh...he's like all the rest up there. which, by the way i vehemently avoid and without compunction.
Friend2000: Well, this seems like a subject you have carefully considered and deeply thought about, as the response is both heart-felt and well-worded. You might consider not jumping to conclusions and take other people's lives in consideration - in my case I haven't been able to sort through and properly respond to all of my emails, as I don't log on here often. I'm glad your original impression of my profile was favorable, and I hope you will find whoever you are looking for. Sadly, thinly-veiled passive-aggressiveness is not something that I find attractive. I hope you understand.
No hard feelings and good luck.
Friend
All names have been changed to protect the guilty. I submit my friend should take up writing snark under a pen name as a side gig.
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