Bathrooms, Definitions and Reality

Transgender: A person who, most often in conjunction with qualified medical providers, finds that their psychological gender or identity is not synchronized with their physiology (the way their body is laid out), often resulting in severe stress to the person involved. More clinically, this is often referred to as Gender Dysphoria.

Gender Dysphoria has been recognized as a valid phenomena since 1980, with the Encyclopedia Brittanica offering a particularly good summation. This phenomena should not be confused with transvestitism nor drag performances - the same person *MAY* engage in behaviors commonly associated with all three patterns, but nothing implies that "because one does drag, one MUST be transgendered or transvestite.

A further common misunderstanding is that "Transgender" somehow means "gay." If only things were that simple. Heterosexuals can be TG, as can gay/lesbian/bi folks...and considering that set of implications (particularly post-op) is usually where my head begins to spin and I smile nicely and, until compelled to do otherwise by reality, accept folks for who they say they are, and move right on along my merry way. Rule of No Touchie and all that.

Heteronormative: Bad things happen when Womens Studies or Social Science majors are allowed near dictionaries, not unlike having a nurse with tuberculosis working the asthma ward. Heteronormative is a puffed up way of describing the idea that heterosexuality is the only legitimate form of sexuality and that all others are somehow lesser or deviant. The term, while shorter than the explanation, doesn't seem especially intuitive to me.

Cisgender: I'm going to stick with Merriam-Webster here and hope they don't hate me for it. "Someone whose internal sense of gender corresponds with the sex the person was identified as having at birth." This has absolutely *nothing* to do with whether a person is gay or not. A gay, bi, lesbian or straight person can all be cisgender (the simple, easy and cheap option) with equal fortune/misfortune if they are lucky enough to be dealt that card by the fates. It, like getting the transgender card, is a matter of luck - not choice.

Gay: A male that is attracted to other males at a romantic or sexual level. Yes, there are a whole bunch of different kinds of Gay dudes - give up the stereotypes, don't be a SJW. Just as there are a whole bunch of different views, personalities and philosophies within the Latino, Black and Asian communities (and also similarly, with loud victimhood advocates trying to claim the spotlight as the "true community representatives"), the Gay community contains everything from cops to lumberjacks to lawyers and to hair dressers - even actors and pianists.

Lesbian: A female that is attracted to other females at a romantic or sexual level. Yes, there are a whole bunch of different kinds of Lesbian gals - give up the stereotypes, don't be a SJW. Just as there are a whole bunch of different views, personalities and philosophies within the Latino, Black and Asian communities (and also similarly, with loud victimhood advocates trying to claim the spotlight as the "true community representatives"), the Lesbian community contains everything from cops to lumberjacks to lawyers and to hair dressers - even actors and pianists.

Heterosexual: That most common of orientations (there must be an AWFUL lot of hetero cards in that playing deck), boys that like girls and girls that like boys when it comes to romance and happy naked times - usually on a fairly exclusive or locked in basis. (No, six pack conversions DON'T count).

Bi-Sexual: In a more perfect world, twice the chance of a date on a Friday night. In our sadder world, these are boys and girls that're perfectly ok waking next to or romancing persons of either traditional gender - and usually get heightened suspicion from members of the Lesbian, Gay and hetero communities based on insecurities around fidelity (they have TWICE the opportunities to cheat on me!), "oh, you're just going through a stage.." and other issues.

Non-Binary Gender: Arguably a cultural phenomenon as much as anything. Someone who either doesn't fit (or doesn't believe they fit) the cultural roles and stereotypes of either gender, instead combining characteristics of both. The most obvious stereotypes relate to sissy boys and butch girls (tomboys) to use increasingly archaic terms, but in todays less restrictive environment more and more folks are saying some variant on "BUGGER OFF! I am who I am!" and stomping off to be their own selves, usually while rather annoyed about the whole affair. This term is still being defined, particularly amongst the SJW sorts and the more esoteric discussions involve a great deal of silliness.

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Ok, this was going to be a very different post. Then @kurtschlicter and @winningatmylife chimed in on related topics on Twitter and I was forced to admit that, if I'm trying to be charitable, that an explanation of terms is necessary just so folks aren't talking past each other. I'm not a social scientist, a womens studies major nor remotely a SJW - but sharing common terms at least improves the chances of communication vs shouting past each other.

Grr. The phrase "do your own research" keeps leaping to mind.Definition time is now done.

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Let us define our fundamental premises here. LGBT folks insisting on pushing the boundaries of "acceptance" ever further outwards? Y'all annoy the bejeezus out of me. Just for a bit, give it a rest and let the mainstream catch up - backlash is bad, m'kay? See: North Carolina.

Y'all denying the existence or validity of transgender existence, promoting hatred or fear of T-folks, and generally rolling about in the pig shit of ignorance whilst trying to smear that same shit on everyone in arms reach? You, too, just piss me right the hell off.

Given that it is unlikely that a shower of dreadfully well-targeted meteorites will simultaneously take you *all* out - generally reducing the level of whininess in the world - what say we examine reality and propose a solution. Ideally, any proposed solution should inflict educational levels of unhappiness upon activists on both sides - King Stork, if you will.

For the most part, North Carolina HB 2 has been - to be kind - ill-read and poorly reported. It addresses bathroom usage, but more as icing on the cake rather than substance. Katie Couric writes reasonable summary of HB 2's actual effects, and the National Review provides a worthwhile balancing commentary to the frantic hand-wringing of LGBT leadership and the Left. HB 2 is with equal certainty badly written, as are most of its clones in other states.

The goals of each party are fairly straightforward - the Trans community, understandably, desires a place to defecate and urinate (and where appropriate, change clothes and shower) in safety. Similarly, the "traditionalists" (for lack of a better descriptor) desire a place for themselves, their loved ones and those they believe they have a "duty to protect" to defecate and urinate (and where appropriate, change clothes and shower) in safety.

The problem lies in the existence of multi-user single-gender facilities for these activities that our society, rightly or wrongly, trains us to believe are not only shameful (requiring privacy) but cause us to be substantially more at risk while engaged in said activities. It does not help that there are actual predators that take advantage of persons engaged in such for a variety of criminal purposes.

The "safety" of single-gender multi-user facilities is largely exaggerated, if not entirely illusory, as shown by the vast number of arrests for voyeurism (peeping tom, for the unwashed), rape and assorted other inappropriate behavior in and around these environments. Despite this, many folks still believe that security and safety can be found in a sign posted on a wall and either a rule or statute barring persons of a given gender from a particular area. This is not supported by the evidence - at best, it filters the law-abiding, the stupid and the lazy - not the truly dangerous.

In short, Security Theater writ small and stinky. BUT THE FEELS!

Conversely, T-folk using the restrooms of their birth-gender - particularly and especially during and post-transition are at substantially elevated risk of physical and sexual assault (and potential arrest), and understandably displeased with the notion of being coerced to enjoy this heightened risk. Thus the push, however ill-advised, for access to restrooms appropriate to the gender they are currently living.

The concern of the Traditionalists are less about TG folks than about losing their largely mythical safety blanket (that is far cheaper to build and maintain than single-user facilities) and that predators will slip through this portal opened for TG folk to do their naughty predator thing. Most don't seem to care about, believe in or hold any special malice for the TG. As obnoxious as the second is, it ain't bigotry - it is denial of reality.

On the other side, TG activists believe in and loudly proclaim that they have the one true vision of moral purity and rightness - and any that might disagree are reason-free bigots with only the vilest of motivations and possible arachnid ancestry. Argument by insult, rather than reason or logic.

As hinted at earlier, a pox upon both. May the leaders of both hand-wringing and bed-wetting factions suffer cataclysmic projectile diarrhea until they calm the heck down, and reject competitive tantrum throwing in favor of reason.

Instead, I propose a solution set based in reason, logic and irritation. These people (both sides) have annoyed me.

1) The ban of multi-user changing or bathroom facilities in new construction, requiring an equivalent number of single-user facilities. Yes, it's more expensive, but you dolts started this thing - the both of you.

2) A $1 per roll tax on toilet paper to subsidize the conversion of legacy structures with multi-user facilities to single-user facilities. You like to start $#^$ so much, you can pay for it through your clean-up.

3) A reduction of the required number of toilets/urinals in new and legacy construction by 50%. This is both to save money on legacy rebuilds AND because y'all annoyed me and deserve to be punished by having to do the pee-pee dance in the hallway.

We may not be able to sell #3, but we can try. These folks deserve the dance.