At least as far as I can tell, one can only do terror (and/or watch ones intellect leave the building) for a limited period. Then you have to either get over it and move in the most positive direction available or do some variation on curling up and preparing to die.
I've chosen the first option, hopefully rather obviously. I've done the angiogram tango and tomorrow morning will be doing the y-90 bead implant radiation thing. I'm feeling fairly positive about it, and hopeful that it will nuke the bejeezus out of the tumor.
I'm thankful for those in my life who've been gracious as I lost my marbles for nearly a month (they were, thankfully, returned about Tuesday before last) and am now working like a madman to try and play a mean game of catch-up. The world does not pause simply because I got told I am engaged in medical adventure.
Finally, I got to take four newbies (my brother, his brother-in-law & wife and their kid) out shooting this Saturday. All had fun, nobody was inappropriately perforated and things went well - but I learned a thing or two. One experienced shooter is simply not enough to work with four newbies is right high on the list of "lessons learned." Next time I take them out, I'll plan on taking along at least one other experienced shooter and perhaps two... and hope for warmer/drier weather.