The Things We Talk About...

Names have been changed to protect the... Guilty? Innocent? Mischievous?

AnonyMom:

What makes teenage boys socks so crusty and gross? I pick them up and they literally crackle. Ugh.

MummyFriend:

I'd have a guess at it being dry sweat. Do they wear leather shoes or breathable trainers? And also, sweaty feet run in the family. Both me and alfie have it. I can't wear trainers or enclosed shoes/boots because my feet sweat buckets. On the very rare occasion I wear stuff like that I have to wear vest tops to keep me cool xx

GayCynic:

Umm. To put it delicately, what do boys do from 12-18+ that the pre-pubescent don't and the married do *very* discreetly if they know what's good for them?

Mummyfriend:

GayCynic...please spell that one out to me because I think I know what you mean but I'm hoping its not that. lol

AnonyMom:

Ray: OH GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never even thought about that. It makes sense; we can't seem to keep any lotion in the bathroom either.

Mummyfriend:

Ooohhh nooooo!!!!!! It ain't a nice thought to think your own son is doing stuff like that. At the back of your mind you know its gonna happen sooner or later, but actually thinking it is just wrong! lol

GayCynic:

Eh, just go ahead and put a nice jar of lubriderm out into which you've dumped a tube of icyhot or capmax and stirred well (joking)...

Mummyfriend:

Thats a good idea actually! instead of putting hand cream out, put some lubricant. Then your son might realise you know his game and stop...ya never know! lol xx


GayCynic:

Stop? NEVER. Die of embarrassment? Perhaps. I.e., men are pigs. The younger sorts *usually* are less sneaky that the older sorts.

MummyFriend:

Well it aint gonna stop him permanently, obviously. But stop him from leaving the outcome on his socks. He might be a little more considerate/embarrased and use tissue instead. lol
I'm chuckling away over here, I'm sorry. It's not gonna be so funny when my little man does it though and I'll understand if you laugh at me as payback. lol xx

AnonyMom:

Ew. Ew ew ew. I was holding those socks with my BARE HANDS!!!!!!!!!!! There isn't enough hand sanitizer in the world....

GayCynic:

Elbow-Length Gloves when cleaning the areas inhabited by bachelors and young men, that's all I'm sayin...

MaleBuddy:

Haaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Rolling on the floor here. I wanted to suggest that the other day, AnonyMom, but figured a.) You didn't want to hear it and b.) You'd eventually figure it out.

AnonyMom:

MaleBuddy! You knew and didn't tell me! Shame on you! :-)

In the course of my (relatively short but pretty eventful) medical career I have been snotted on, phlegmed on, puked on, pooped on, bled on, peed on, cried on, got amniotic fluid on me and even a dab of melena (blood that's been through the digestive tract. It's the foulest smelling stuff and it sticks around) on my sleeve once (had to throw the shirt out. Smell lingered) but I have never been so grossed out as I was after discovering what was on those socks.
They were in my bare hands. MY BARE HANDS. Ack.