"I carry a gun, because cops are too heavy..."

SPD is a really top-flight department...but until they become precognitive, the very best they can do is to investigate, mop up the blood, and fill out the forms.

All worthwhile, but not a huge help when one is busy being the subject of violent crime.

It's not ironic, so much as cleverly expressed wisdom...have you SEEN a cop lately? Even a young spritely one, weighed down with the ever more popular bat belt, could throw someones back out....45 Para (w/ or w/o gold plate, rhinestones, and salacious engravings) is MUCH lighter than 200+ lbs of cop...