Thursday, July 10, 2008

DumbAss of the Year Competition

In exciting news from the National DumbAss Competition, the heated competition between Boston Mayor "Mumbles" Menino (Health Care, Creative Hiring, Foolishness, Technology & Free Speech), Chicago Mayor Richard Daley (Meigs Airport, Heller, Corruption), and Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels (General Doofery, Plastic Bags, Anti-Gun) saw a surprise new joint entry today in the competition with the publication of the recent overwrought comments of Commissioner John Wiley Price and Justice of the Peace Thomas Jones of Dallas.

Price, on hearing a county department described as a "black hole" (an astronomical phenomena simply described as something that sucks in everything in the area, and nothing ever comes out) went off on an "I wanna be offended so I can toss a hissy" binge, declaring the office had become a white hole (a different astronomical event where a point in space vomits forth a vast amount of matter and energy - the polar opposite of a black hole). He was then joined by Jones, in an open public meeting, demanding an apology from the "offender". Together, they demonstrated their collective DumbAss'ry with such verve and elan that they made the DrudgeReport and Lawdog's blog all in one day. LawDog tells it far better than this humble reporter.

In other news, in the Junior Snark Competition, a late entry from an unidentified 11yo in a gentle missive to Best Buy found via Digg shows hope for the next generation of Special Snark Operators.

Finally, we end our days commentary with recognition of the recent entry in the International Rounds of the competition, from the Formerly Great Britain where the ninnies and the nannies appear to be running things - as evidenced in this screed against racist toddlers (what, they don't like foreign/unfamiliar food? BABY RACISTS!).

That concludes todays report.

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